hatesblindjokes: (» bewitch)
Vincent Dredge ([personal profile] hatesblindjokes) wrote in [community profile] psychoshenanigans2023-11-30 06:00 pm
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13th Cycle // Continued Thread


[Continuation of this thread. They both got drunk and then decided to punch each other for fun.]
indigochild: (perch)

[personal profile] indigochild 2023-12-05 07:54 pm (UTC)(link)
[To Irahl's great misfortune, though his entire body and soul felt more exhausted than he'd been in months, sleep did not feel even remotely attainable right now. Between the vaguely-nauseating way the room rotated slowly around him (was he somehow still drunk??) and the jolts of memory that would hit him whenever his brain relaxed, he'd quickly given up hope of retreating to unconsciousness. So, Irahl had been in the process of chasing the next best thing by zoning out as far from his body as he could get, when the sound of Vincent's voice yanks him back to the present.

It's a little disorienting to suddenly find the other man that close. Vincent isn't looming over him by any means, but being caught without having been wary of his approach first, lying down here with injuries and without so much as sleeves on, let alone armor and cloak, still hits Irahl with a pang of vulnerability.

He spends a couple seconds being very glad that Vincent can't see him--looking a little startled, a mural of bruises and injuries, with almost every scale he has on display--before he catches up to what the other man has left on the floor for him.

Vincent doesn't get a word or a sound of response, but Irahl does carefully lean over to take a drink. And damn does that ice feel good on his mouth, despite the shock of pain that it sends through his battered nerves first.]
indigochild: (armor)

[personal profile] indigochild 2023-12-05 08:44 pm (UTC)(link)
[If Vincent had gotten over his worry of maybe nearly killing Irahl before, he should maybe worry again, as Irahl fully chokes on his ice water.

Well, most of his mouthful of water gets cough-laughed back into his glass. The rest goes lung-ward. There's no time to tell his brain that he technically can't drown.

The glass rattles against the metal floor as he fumbles to put it back down without spilling it, while rolling over to cough into his arm at the same time. He needs a minute.

When he's finally able to drag air into his lungs again, he needs another few moments to ride out the jagged spasms running through his ribs (yeah, he remembers now, something bad had happened in there), before he can speak. His voice has a pathetic rasp to it when he finally does.]


...Who won?
indigochild: (perch)

[personal profile] indigochild 2023-12-05 09:34 pm (UTC)(link)
[Part of Irahl's mind can't help but interpret Vincent's comment a certain way, (especially with how things tended to go in his previous imprisonment,) and wonders exactly where one would say the "pool game" had actually ended. And the rest of Irahl's brain works on bludgeoning all of that back into whatever mental corner he can find with a pointed and mortified fervor.

Even thinking about Vincent's comment in a way that doesn't make his entire being recoil is a lot right now. It's funny for a couple of seconds, but then it continues to exist as something that has been said out loud. They've officially addressed that anything from the pool game onward had happened at all, and there's no going back from that.

So, now that his glass has been safety returned to the floor and he can breathe again, Irahl retreats to the shelter of his bunk. He groans uncomfortably as he tries to find a settled place that doesn't hurt too badly. He wants to fall back on his usual defense mechanism of draping his arm over his eyes, but everything is far too banged-up for that.

He considers not answering Vincent at all, but leaving an awkward silence feels like a much worse option.]


Dunno. Don't think pool is my thing.
indigochild: (throat)

[personal profile] indigochild 2023-12-05 10:36 pm (UTC)(link)
[Lying there on his back, (because lying on his side would hurt, with a brutal bruise on one shoulder and claw-marks on his opposite hip,) staring at the underside of the bunk above him and unable to get away as Vincent begins to gradually unspool an apology, a sick, weird weight begins to settle in the center of his chest. Unable to even cover his face to hide from it, the feeling gradually crushes him until his lungs feel flat and lifeless. It's a familiar feeling, but too old to put a name to.

He sounds like some of the life has drained from him by the time he answers, once he's sure that Vincent has rambled to a stop. His voice is just as flat and lifeless as he feels.]


It happens.
indigochild: (new home)

[personal profile] indigochild 2023-12-05 11:31 pm (UTC)(link)
[It's for the best.

They should both rest and deal with this after the dust has settled. That has always been the way to go, for Irahl, if leaving before the dust has settled isn't an option.

The relief of them both being allowed to rest begins to change fairly quickly, however. While he lays there wondering if Vincent will be able to sleep, the feeling shifts toward quietly and desperately hoping that he does, because that sunken feeling in Irahl's chest gets worse almost as soon as the silence settles.

A few minutes in, and the feeling of internal collapse becomes the feeling of compression. It's like he's slowly caving in until there isn't enough room for his heart and lungs to fit and fill properly. He doesn't need a lot of air, but there in the stillness of the room, he feels like he's running out of it anyway.

Whether or not Vincent has miraculously fallen asleep by that point, Irahl eventually levers himself up as unobtrusively as he can until he's sitting on the edge of the bed.

He should go somewhere. He wants to go somewhere. But his head is pounding and his chest is tight and he's basically in his underwear and there's nowhere to go anyway.

So, he props whatever part of his face hurts the least down on the heel of his hand, sits there, and just breathes for a minute.]
indigochild: (throat)

[personal profile] indigochild 2023-12-06 01:14 am (UTC)(link)
[Irahl isn't typically one for hyperventilation, but for someone with good enough hearing, his breath at least has the careful, overly-measured sound of someone who is focusing very hard on keeping it even.

He would love to be able to walk this off or at least curl up into his usual disassociating stance, but this is as far as he can withdraw. He just has to wrestle himself into calming down right here--mostly out in the open, with another person in the room.]
indigochild: (new home)

[personal profile] indigochild 2023-12-06 02:15 am (UTC)(link)
[It's both kind of Vincent and startling when he says Irahl's name, warning him of the approach. Irahl doesn't glance up, not moving an inch from his carefully-maintained state of face down on one hand, but his attention is at least brought over to the sound of Vincent heading his way. He can only spare part of his focus to wonder what he's planning, so he's surprised again when a blanket settles gently around his shoulders.

Irahl doesn't react well (or at all) to most offers of help. This one, however, at least gets one tense sigh in amongst all of the other strictly-ordered breathing. He is desperately relieved to have one thin piece of armor added onto his sorry state.

Despite his embarrassment for being caught like this (again?), he'd like to thank him. Can't quite manage it yet.]
indigochild: (throat)

[personal profile] indigochild 2023-12-06 03:02 am (UTC)(link)
[Irahl would love to tell Vincent that it's okay, he's got this, forget about it--anything. This is his struggle in response to Vincent's first question, until it is suddenly followed up with Vincent then giving him something extremely easy to answer and that he desperately wants.

It doesn't keep him from hating himself any less for it, however.]


--The box.
indigochild: (perch)

[personal profile] indigochild 2023-12-06 03:24 am (UTC)(link)
[Yeah, Irahl gets both better and worse while Vincent is away. It's both.

On one hand, it's a relief to have room to be a little bit less okay, so he's better able to grapple with the strangling feeling wrapped around his chest. On the other hand, however, Vincent continuing to be bafflingly patient and kind makes the sucker-punch feeling in his chest get worse. The touch on his arm especially sinks him, right now.

Outwardly, Irahl doesn't to seem to have changed much by the time that Vincent returns. A little calmer, maybe.]
indigochild: (new home)

[personal profile] indigochild 2023-12-06 04:11 am (UTC)(link)
[Irahl has always been as unobtrusive or as unnoticed as possible when having a bad time, so he goes through the ritual of starting up his music without a problem, and takes a minute to himself while giving little outward sign that there's still something wrong. His breathing isn't quite so tense, and he seems downright calm compared to trying to claw out his own augment.

Inside is a mess, however. He hates that he can tell he's glad that Vincent doesn't walk back to his own side of the room, when he should be wanting nothing but for the other man to get as far away from him as possible, right now.

It's bad enough in there that--by the time enough music shocks into his head that he's able to calm down another couple steps--he makes the realization that he really needs to say something. He's actually at a level of not-okay that he can't ignore, and this results in one of those dizzying looks at himself and his whole situation that he spends so much time and energy avoiding.

Eventually, he sighs in defeat, and shifts in a sort of off-kilter way--uncomfortably shrugging one shoulder forward.]


Do you... ever feel like this place isn't real, sometimes?
indigochild: (perch)

[personal profile] indigochild 2023-12-06 04:47 am (UTC)(link)
[Irahl fully realizes that he has picked a wild place to start any sort of conversation from, but he's glad that Vincent at least answers mostly in the affirmative. It gives him a place to start. He might have dropped the attempt completely if Vincent had said no.

Like other things that are difficult or complicated for Irahl to put into words, it takes him a minute, slowly and awkwardly picking his way through the thought on the fly. At least he has been preemptively reassured that the man he's trying to talk to is incredibly patient.]


Yeah. It's been... uh. Hard to keep in mind. That it's real.

[He moves his shoulder in an antsy way again, like his skin is uncomfortable.]

Sounds weird, but normally I have... There's this sense. All the time. But I don't really have it out here.

[And he pauses there, not because he's expecting a response or because his thought is finished, but he's hearing the words as they're leaving his mouth and is despairing, as they're making even less sense out loud than they had in his head.]
indigochild: (throat)

[personal profile] indigochild 2023-12-06 05:32 am (UTC)(link)
[It also hadn't dawned on Irahl that Vincent might understand him on something like this, if only because the few times he had confided in other creatures like himself, they hadn't seemed to be able to relate. He'd always thought this was a him thing. And even if whatever Vincent is talking about isn't exactly the same, it's still close enough to what's going on with him now to count for something.

Irahl also sounds tentative then, but it's a mix of confusion and wary amazement. Like he's hesitant to believe Vincent's response.]


Really? ...It's a feeling that's like...

[First, he pauses because he starts to lift his hand to gesture in an effort to explain, before remembering that Vincent can't see. Then, the pause becomes him opting not to try describe it with words either, in the event that he'll immediately run into more ways that they're different than they are the same, and he doesn't want that right now.]

...I'm used to it always being there. So without it, it's like. Floating. Or dreaming.

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