psychoshenanigans | Court // Canon

"No, I mean... a romantic relationship. A romantic one." She's starting to talk a little faster, like a biker preparing for a big jump - building up momentum. "I was just wondering, because I can tell you're kind of not telling me something. Also, Nel told me that one of your objectives was sex. I mean a particular kind of sex? Sex with the mouth. Mouth sex. And, I mean, how would he know that? Unless you'd told him? Or unless you'd had sex? With each other."

All that blurted out she fidgets around uncomfortably. Her cheeks are beginning to turn red.

Staring at Rin, her cheeks glowing through his sixth sense, he distinctly remembers talking to Euri one morning, years ago, back at the tower. She'd blushed about contraceptives. She'd was baffled when Robin explained that he'd slept with other men before. She'd been vehemently against the idea of an open, casual relationship. Rin was starting to remind him of her.

Because people like Rin are an anomaly to him. A tiny, radical sliver of the normal population. In the Underground, she would have been called a prude before she got a chance to take a breath--and Robin may have been considered unusually kind and patient, by their standards, a context that wouldn't help Rin even if she knew it.

"Rin... It's okay." He puts his hands up and... lowers them, slowly, in what he only hopes is a calming motion. "Yes, Nel and I have had sex."

She settles down. Gonna power through it. She's still embarrassed, but homosexual relationships happen to at least some degree in Japan, so she has a cultural context for it.

"That's what I thought. So what aren't you telling me now?"

"...I don't understand."

What could she possibly still be digging for? He doesn't think he's done anything wrong. He tries to think from her point of view, but... The only connection he can manage to make is...

"Wait, you don't think my asking you to be my servant is some plot to get you to have sex with me, do you?"

"I was wondering." Which is unfair, but also true - especially since talking to Nel, even if it was just a short time ago. A certain engrained wariness of the motivations of men has been useful for her in the past, anyway. Plenty of the men she met at home had predatory and generally unpleasant designs on her.

Then, abruptly, she looks at Nel. "How are you going to be working for Robin?"

He startles out of his detached, eavesdropping state as he's suddenly yanked into the conversation as an active participant.

"Uh..." He glances between the two of them, like he does when he's waiting for direction, but that direction has pretty much already been given. It's pretty clear. He's on his own here.

"However he wants me to? ...Like, going and getting objectives done with people. So he can be queen... right?"

"Yes..." Robin looks between both of them, resurfacing, quickly back into the rhythm of treading water. He's starting to see the holes here, the problems. "...But he doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to, as long as he tells me."

But in saying that, he realizes he could open up a whole other mess. He looks at Nel.

"You know that, right? I don't want you doing anything that bothers you."

He... just nods in that vague way that means nothing. And, judging by the way the look on his face is subtly changing, his confusion might be growing.

She looks... back and forth between them... and then lifts her hands and rubs her face a bit. Men... are so dense sometimes...

"Nel, if you'll do whatever Robin wants you to do, and Robin only wants you to do the things you want to do, what are you actually going to do?"

Oh, well now he looks definitely more confused. And avoidant tension starts visibly building up.

"I don't know... he's my new boss, so..."

He shrugs, trailing off to avoid explaining that he assumes it would be like any other time that he's been owned by someone else, and the fact that the original proposition had rolled right into a request for sexual favors.

So, it's maybe understandable that he's kind of receiving mixed signals here.

"So I'm going to take care of him, all right?"

There's something in his words--an insistence that wasn't there before.

"Nel is my friend, Rin. I'd never do anything to hurt him. Friends don't do that."

But the tension that creeps into his voice leaves and his shoulders sink with the weight of something else, something he'd rather have forgotten about, pretended it never happened. "He almost died once. Do you know that? Before I even knew him, I dragged him out of it and put him back together. I didn't pull him through half a year and a ruined world just to treat him like dirt here."

"I believe you," and she does, basically, at least on this front. Now she just looks stressed, sinking into herself a little, rubbing her forehead again.

"But, Nel, that means you do what you want. Kind of." To some degree. "So what do you want to do?"

All at once, there is all of this attention aimed in his direction--all of these complicated thoughts and feelings sent his way that he hadn't been expecting. Instead of looking cornered this time, though... he mostly only looks half-invested.

It's hard to think about it, really, because his mind is skirting off somewhere else.

He shrugs. "I don't know..."

He wants to defend him. He can feel himself getting frustrated that Rin doesn't understand. Nel can't act like he has opinions or preferences. Nel is never going to admit to wanting anything, not without a lot of slow, careful prompting. Not unless his world is totally safe and, even then, he'd be hesitant to admit he cares.

But he doesn't say anything. He breathes slowly and quietly and reminds himself that it's not her fault. It's not anyone's fault. Shit--maybe Nel will prove him wrong.

She looks at Robin and points at the door. She wants to talk to him outside.

Unfortunately, he misinterprets that.

"...Am I getting kicked out?"

"No." She rolls her eyes and gets up. "I want to talk to you without a listener."

"Oh."

He was going to get mad, but that makes it an entirely different story. He changes gears quickly. He crosses to Nel, picks up a corner of the blanket, and pulls it gingerly back over the boy's face.

"Don't wander anywhere, okay?"

With that done, he heads for the door. They can talk now.

He makes a little 'mmph' sound when his face is shrouded, but he... isn't in a real big hurry to move it off again. He only tugs it down enough to show his eyes.

"Okay."

He feels like he's being punished for something, but that's okay.

She doesn't pay Nel any more mind, at least for the moment. Rather, she turns around, grabs for Robin's hand, gives it a squeeze, and then drops it and moves away. It all happens quite quickly.

"Is he even going to be able to tell you if he doesn't want to do something?"

Getting his hand squeezed is surprising. Just like with Cecil, he ends up more confused than comforted. Why would she do something like that? He looks down at his hand while Rin cuts through to the heart of things.

"He won't want to," Robin admits. "How much do you know about him? His history?"

"I kind of know about it. He was a prostitute, right? Basically? Or a slave." She folds her arms and half-turns away, sounding more stressed and defensive than anything. "If he's not going to tell you, how will you even know he doesn't want to do something? What, are you just going to watch him?"

"Yes, I'm going to watch him." Is that such a hard concept? Nel is easy to read, when it matters. "But you have to understand, he's not used to being treated like a human being. It's terrible, but he needs time to understand he can voice his opinions and not be punished for them. If I can catch him, ease something out of him even once... that's as good a start as any..."

How messed up.

"... I guess there's not much else to be done."

"If I think of something better, I'll do it. Believe me."

That's not true. He thinks it's true, but he hasn't thought about it very hard. If there really was a way to fix Nel, turn him into a fully realized and functioning person, Robin wouldn't want to do it. Not really.

But he can't imagine that ever happening, even in a place like this.

"Right now, the best thing for him is some kind of structure, something even remotely familiar." He rubs at his palm, absently, preoccupied. "He needs direction so he doesn't spiral off on another bender."

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject