psychoshenanigans | Drift Fleet // Canon

Entry tags:

emblica,
robin

Drift Fleet // Canon

[AH, Adsum, the moon of vanity. he's found them a lovely little moon cafe, by a moon river, where there's a moon bridge that moon boats pass under, and lovely moon couples with perfect hair and makeup discuss very intelligent moon things on their walks. there are probably beautiful flowering moon trees or something scattering pretty petals everywhere. the drinks are actually kind of boring, but the china they are served in looks very artful.

Robin (who is dressed in his best shirt that doesn't have a big hole in it), leans back in his well-crafted chair, very appreciative of Emblica for coming.]

So... I've been doing some thinking...

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[ These moon drinks are fine, what are you talking about.

Maybe she just has boring taste. ]

About what?

[ It hadn't been a difficult thing to accept the offer of some time with Robin. Since their trip through the forest, since learning he was more like her than she'd originally thought, it's been a bit of a weight off of her. As much as she doesn't like telling people the truth about her, she doesn't like hiding it, either.

And he's closer to a friend than most others here (which is a big deal for someone who doesn't have centuries of experience with her), so that definitely helps. ]

[she may just have boring taste. they are at least a nice change from the "orange drink" that the ships dispense. he's glad he told Emblica about himself too, otherwise he'd have no one to talk about his problems with who'd really get it.

...okay, there's Tek, but that guy's an asshole.]

Well, did you see that mess up on the comms the other day? About me not-really dying, and all.

[ Tek really is an asshole. Another thing Robin and Emblica have in common, thinking that. ]

...I did see that.

Mm, well... I let Nel go, as was demanded of me. I think it was the right thing to do.

[he's already got a bit of a dopamine boost from his augment, so the topic isn't as crushingly depressing as it would be otherwise... his frown is light, more thoughtful than melancholy as he glances out the window..]

But the whole situation really just brought to light for me... that I don't think I know what I'm doing anymore.

[ She takes another slow sip of her drink, not exactly frowning as she does for the same reason that Robin doesn't look as sad as he could. ]

Sometimes, it's difficult to find...what to do in life. Especially when you have so much time. Others wouldn't understand, they feel like having all that time means you can do anything, but...

That's the frightening part, isn't it?

Oh, certainly.

[his eyes widen a little as he looks back at her... he's surprised that she gets that so quickly. happy, too! but it's a very heavy topic for him. he's not used to it. it's kind of scary.]

I'm glad that no one pried too far into why I didn't die... If they'd heard I was immortal, they would have assumed I should have achieved some... perfect, higher understanding by now. [sarcastically:] People who've lived for three thousand years don't make mistakes, right?

[ She's lived alone for a long time; she'd quickly learned how it feels when freedom becomes stifling. ]

Sometimes, I think those like us make more mistakes than others. We don't have to worry about the things they do.

It makes it easier to do things without thinking of the consequences, since we don't have as many.

[he thinks about this for a moment. he plays it over with all of the events lately...]

Maybe that's part of my problem... See, I feel like I used to be so good at this game, at playing people, at moving between relationships, keeping up friends, contacts, moving wherever I want in life, doing whatever I wanted to do...

But here... And the nexus before this one, and... [he stops a moment, scratching the back of his head.] ...No, I think even further back than that, I've felt like I've really been losing my footing. Getting worse and worse. I don't know what I'm doing, what my goals are, what I should be...

[a sigh.] What kind of a person am I, Emblica? I just hurt someone I love worse than I've hurt most of my enemies. I want to help him so badly, but I just keep thinking it'd be easier if he was dead. What kind of a person does that?

[he sounds so... perplexed. is he good? is he bad? is he... something else?]

Even if you're good at it, it doesn't mean you'll be happy. There's only so much that other people can give you...even if it's difficult to be alone, it's what's suited me so far.

[ Maybe that's not the best path either, though. ]

It isn't easy, still. I'm sorry. But, if it means anything, I think it's normal to feel like that sometimes.

...It does bring me comfort, thank you.

[which makes him smile a little, as he sips his tea again.]

You know, I used to live alone too... For a very long time, it suited me just fine. Even when I finally stepped back into the world, interacted with people again, it wasn't very good. I was never really with them. Attachments are tiresome when you outlive everyone.

[that's something he's sure she'll understand.]

Even now, it's difficult. No matter how long we stay here, even if it's hundreds of years, the people we meet won't be able to.

It isn't fair.

It's not fair. [he nods, fidgeting with his gloves.] Even now that I've decided I'd like to be near people again, it feels... Pointless and silly, often. Why bother?

Because sometimes, you might find someone who makes it worth it.

...Perhaps.

[he... smiles, again, though this time it's kind of gushy.]

I met you, after all. And I'm very glad that I did.

I'm glad we met, too.

It's been a long time since I could talk to someone like me.

The same. And maybe... It's a good thing that I'm here, where there are kind people.

[ah, he laughs a little.] Ah, maybe it's time I start learning how to consider the consequences of my actions.

It's more important for you to consider those, than anyone else. You have to live with them the longest.

Oh... You have a lot of good points.

[he has to live with his consequences, yeah... he nods...]

That's another thing... I'm used to moving around whenever anything goes wrong. Here, we're pretty much confined to close quarters with one another, so... I really need to get into a better place if I don't want to be the enemy of every free man, woman, and unidentified demon that passes through.

It'd be a good idea...even if it's not as fun, it's smart to be careful, you know?

Not as fun...

[he repeats those words... slumping over the table a little...]

What's wrong?

Nothing... I just hate being bored...

You'll still find things to do.

I'll have to be terribly clever.

[he manages a little smile, almost a smirk, as he looks up from where he's slumped...]

It's also been a long time since I've had to be clever. It'll be good exercise.

It could be good for you, for many reasons.

I hope. I could use some of that.

[he reaches across the table to put his hand on top of hers... he means it in a friendly way, as a gesture of kindness.]

And are you all right, spending your time alone as you have been?

[ She puts her other hand on top of his, then. ]

I sometimes don't mind it, but...I do miss having friends.

[aw. this is nice.]

If you ever feel lonely, you are welcome to ask me over. I'm happy to spend time with you.

...thank you.

[ It is nice...she might even end up taking him up on that. Except... ]

Or I could visit you. If you want.

Haha, that's lovely... [they could both do that.] My ship is full of loud boys... Having some quiet company over for a while might be a lovely change of pace, sometimes.

My room's a bit of a mess, that's all...

I don't mind visiting.

Ah... Is it still full of potatoes?

Not quite as much-- it's just a bit...unorganized.

Oh, okay. I don't mind, but... there's always room on the Bloodsport.

Are you trying to invite me over to your ship?

Oh, you're already invited.

[ She laughs, quietly. ]

In a strange way, I feel like I've gotten somewhat comfortable with my living situation.

[ The messy lab, idiot crewmates, and all. ]

Yeah? That's good to hear. [he'll pull away again, picking up his drink once more.] I'm surprised that those little tin cans of ours can feel so... homey, after a while.

[ She certainly hadn't expected it to be the case, but. ]

It really is surprising.

But I guess it wasn't like I had much of a home before.

The world of Earth has a funny saying... That home is where the heart is. [he shrugs.] Not to imply you could adore somewhere where Tek is staying just a couple rooms over, but I find that the sentiment is a nice one.

I understand what they mean, I think.

[ In a weird way. ]

Good. I'm glad you've got something like that.

I don't know if it's quite like that, here.

No? It could grow to something like that... Who knows.

[he shrugs.] Homes really do show up in the most unexpected places.

It would be awfully strange. A home, with them.

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Drift Fleet // Canon

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